Essential French Etiquette

As a family we have lived in many different countries over the past 15 years and we've learnt how important it is to respect the local etiquette and customs.

The French in general are polite and courteous although they have some unusual foibles. But then don't we all!

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To Kiss Or Not To Kiss

As a rule of thumb if you are meeting someone formally, a solid handshake and a verbal greeting will do. If it is more of a social occasion, follow the lead of others. Generally people will kiss each other on the cheeks and that is when most foreigners start to panic.

How many and which side to start with?.... Aah confusion again!

Most people offer their left cheek first and depending on where you live in France, the custom is to kiss two, three or in extreme cases, four times - alternate cheeks.

It took me a year of living in France to get the kissing right and now it is almost second nature. However I now fnd that when greeting fellow Brits that the confusions starts. To kiss them or not to kiss them?

By the way if you were looking for the other type of French Kissing then try here. French kissing for couples.

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Greetings - Hello and Goodbye

Greetings in France are very important and are a standard part of French etiquette and everyday life. They are not difficult though and once you have done it once it will seem easy.

If you get in lift, enter a shop, stand at a bus stop then someone will probably greet you and you should reciprocate - if you can.

If you are meeting someone in one of the above scenarios then a verbal greeting is OK. However if it is a more organized meeting such as amongst a group of friends, at work, at the school gates or a meeting with a client then you should add the handshake or kiss as well See above.

With a verbal greeting you should say "Bonjour" (Hello) + their title or first name if you are friends.

By title I mean Mr, Mrs, or Miss. So this might be :

(Bonjour = hello)

Merci Monsieur, Madame etc.

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Giving and Receiving Gifts

What do you take (if at all) if you are invited to dinner or to someone's house for a drink, a wedding or a funeral?

If it is quite a formal dinner, you could send some flowers the morning of the dinner party but if you want to bring some with you, have then in a vase already and bring an odd number (except 13 which is unlucky) and NOT White Lilies or Chrysanthemums which are funeral flowers.

I think one of the best things you can take is something from your own country or from your travels. This might be a jar of marmalade or traditional biscuits or maybe some tea or a small ornament.

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Table Manners

If you get invited to dinner formal or not, there are a few simple rules that will take you a long way up the social etiquette ladder.

• Don't be more than 10 minutes late. Ring and explain if you are delayed.
• Bring a small gift or send flowers on the morning of the dinner party.
• Make an effort with your clothes unless you know the people very well and the have told you to come dressed casually.
• A typical dinner might consist of up to six courses (not including the drinks): Aperitif, Entrè, plate principal (main course), cheese, dessert, fruit, coffee and digestive drink.
• If an aperitif is served wait for the host to make a toast and then hold your glass upwards and say "Sant" (good health).
• Do not begin eating until the hostess says 'Bon appetit'.
• Keep your elbows off the table but keep you hands visible. Hidden hands means you're up to no good!!
  
• Bread is placed directly on the tablecloth in front of you unless it is a formal meal in which case bread plates are used. Tear off small bite sized pieces of bread rather than biting from the bread roll/chunk itself.
• Never butter your bread at a meal. The bread is used to wipe up the juices left behind at the end of each course. This is because the different courses of a French meal are all served on the same plate.
• Try and finish everything on your plate.
• Do not cut salad with a knife and fork. Fold the lettuce on to your fork.
• If you don't want any more wine, leave your glass half full.
• When you have finished your food you should cross your knife and fork on the plate with your fork on the top.
• If in doubt, follow everyone else and smile a lot!